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What to do when the unexpected happens??

Posted anonymously on Feb 12, 2016 07:23 PM No Responses

So I am in huge idk what to even call it. Anywho, I am currently in a relationship with the love of my life, I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him. However, we have a baby who turns 1 next week. 3 weeks after I had our son, my partner did the worst thing (I feel) to me, he cheated.... This has been so hard this entire year it has changed my views on like EVERYTHING in life. anyways I just recently got in a better place emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. But I just found out i am expecting another child :( So I am just kind of loss as to what I should do? This isn't much about the relationship but moreso the pregnancy. I know this is touchy, but please just say what you would do if it were you. I am desperate right now! Thank you.

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Help, I want to break up with a very possesive woman

Posted anonymously on Feb 01, 2016 10:25 PM 7 Responses

Hi, I have been with this woman for 6 months and realize that i made a very big mistake letting her move in before i knew her properly. She kept talking on and on about marriage and kids ad nauseum till i decided to tell her that we break it off because i was absolutely not ready. She begged and pleaded till we somehow reconciled, but ever since, the love i had has waned till now i feel that being with her is a big inconvenience to my career dreams. She wants all my free time to be with her. if i tell her ill be back in 30 mins, 10 minutes later, shell start calling wanting minute by minute updates on where i am. I am an engineer by profession and that means extra money comes when i do work outside the job i have. I havent got a single dime outside my job for the time we have been together. I have tried all ways to break up including telling her that my parents did not approve of the relationship but she says shes not ready to let me go. I feel trapped because of the following things i discovered 1. Shes a year older than me 2. She has a kid from a previous relationship, something ive tried to unsuccessfuly ignore 3. She doesnt seem to have any hobbies, Nothing we seem to have in common. So, how do i break this off quick and painless 4. Even if she works, she NEVER has money, (or so she says coz ive peeped once or twice into her bag and surely, she has money) 5. Her cooking skills are wanting 6. She gets absolutely absent minded when shes on the phone. Wants to cook or do other things while talking on phone and for long hours 7. She doesnt seem to care about impressing me anymore, feels she settled 8. Recently i stopped complaining about her flaws and started plotting an exit strategy, but she is taking my silence now to be my expression of my love.

Last comment on Feb 07, 2016 08:37 AM

Vibe: 0

should I trust blindly or take a stand and risk losing my partner

Posted anonymously on Jan 30, 2016 10:51 PM 20 Responses

I want to trust my bf but I have a bad feeling about a girl we know. She was someone I have known long before I knew him. She has always been toxic. I have repeatedly told him I am not comfortable with her texting him or being on his facebook. Each time I have mentioned it he has blown up. He calls me psycho and says he is going to leave me. Keep in mind I have never acted jealous, only wanted to let him know that I do not want this toxic person in or lives. Something I said about her to him got back to me. That means my bf is still talking to her even though he knows I am deeply bothered by it. Okay so now that you know that part you must know this. All of the people mentioned including myself are middleaged. I own the house but I don't have a job, My bf pays all of the bills. I was cheated on by others and I always got this same feeling. Its terrible to have someone who is jealous especially if you are not doing anything but at the same time I think I have the right to protect myself. Help me out please, I need some guidance. signed Camire~

Last comment on Feb 04, 2016 04:22 AM

Vibe: 1

Is he into me or not?

Posted by nightowl on Jan 30, 2016 02:08 AM 3 Responses

A few months ago I met a guy in my boxing/circuit class. We hit it off and he eventually made it clear that he was interested in being more than friends. I tried to keep plutonic, but I am only human and the attraction and chemistry between us is off the charts!! I am a 41 year old woman, he is 28. We became more than friends about three weeks ago. We did agree that we would have to have ‘a chat’ at some stage, but neither of us has brought it up yet. The thing is – at the start when we were just friends/just got together; he would text all the time. Now he hardly texts at all. There are some good reasons for this - he has a 5 year old daughter who lives with her Mum. He has had her for the past week so I understand that he is concentrating on being with her, but I am still wondering……was it just the thrill of the chase, or to tick an older chick off his bucket list….? And then on the other hand - during the week I met his daughter for the first time. Although we don’t know what the fuck we are doing I was happy to meet her because she is a big part of his life. We kept it pretty low key but he told me he had a talk to her after and she liked me. I’m pretty comfortable with kids – I’m an Aunty and I have a lot to do with my friends kids. I know you are all going to say he’s being a typical guy, but how can he on the one hand be so distant and not contact me much at all – and on the other hand introduce me to his daughter? For the most part I like being single. I don’t really like the person I become when I’m interested in a guy, and I hate feeling so vulnerable and like I am not in control of my own shit. I am constantly checking my phone these days and even when he texts I am shitty that he is not sending me texts that say a bit more than ‘I was gutted to miss boxing class today’ when I tell him I miss him. I hate that another person can affect me so much just by what they do….I know I should be in control of my own feelings and reactions and all that crap but I’m just not that sort of person. I know I have some hang ups from a past relationship. My boyfriend of 5 years was living overseas and cheated on me. I couldn’t get hold of him for 4 days and when he finally answered his phone that’s when I found out. The phone thing is hard for me especially not keeping in contact or not answering. So that’s it. Sorry it’s so long. I think maybe I should just say we should just be friends but I am not sure I can do that. Is that weak? It feels weak. He doesn’t really tell me much. But we have both voiced the fact that we really click. In every way.

Last comment on Jan 31, 2016 02:31 PM

Vibe: 0

He stayed out all night...no call..did he cross the line?

Posted anonymously on Jan 27, 2016 02:51 PM 4 Responses

So I'll make this short as my story has been going on 12 years. Im 34 with 4 kids under 12. My BF of 12 years and I have had many problems off and on but in 2012 to decided to start over with a clean slate. We decided to rent a house together in Jan 2014 after living in a crappy 2 bedroom apt. Fast forward 2 months and he started smoking Pot again...I despise it and he knows it...he is retarded on it and remembers nothing of our conversations. We have not been intimate for over a year..frankly Im disgusted with his habits. He has been verbally and mentally abusive and has always been controlling. Dec of 2015 he got a DUI and stayed in jail overnight. He was forbidden to go out drinking until he paid his mom back the money he borrowed for impound. Last week he tried driving kids to school high...who knows how many times he has successfully gotten away with it considering I work nights. Last night he didn't come home but got drunk at friends house. No call or anything!! I busted him commenting on some womens pics on facebook. I am not a jealous person by any means and I trust until given a reason not to but this BOY is flipping 35 years old!! Im seriously considering trying to leave again. Only problem is I have zero family up here to help...his family viciously turned on me before and I definitely do not trust them. Am I over reacting here? My friends said he crossed a major line! I agree but worry because of kids. Help!

Last comment on Jan 30, 2016 12:43 AM

Vibe: 0

What should I do?

Posted anonymously on Jan 25, 2016 05:24 PM 3 Responses

I'm 16 and I knew this guy since kindergarten. I'm pretty sure he had a crush on me back in elementary school. We were always talking to each other. But now we're in highschool and I'm the one with a crush on him! But the problem is that he got popular in middle school and have talked since then. I got his number back but too afraid to text him. Like what if he is with his friends and he tells them that I like him and then they make fun of me for it!

Last comment on Feb 01, 2016 10:07 AM

Vibe: 0

How to keep your mind off your love interest while you wait for them to come back?

Posted anonymously on Jan 23, 2016 03:20 PM 3 Responses

For the last few weeks or so, I’ve been talking to this girl I was introduced to through a mutual friend of mine. We both kind of hit it off immeadiately as well because in a lot of ways both of us were so similar. We both had the same sexual priorities, we both wanted to move and go to to college in the same state after we graduate, we’re both sophomores in high school, and in a lot of ways we’re both able to support and encourage each other to do things and succeed in ways no one else can do for us. But what I didn’t know after she flirted with me and led me on was that she had a boyfriend. Normally right then and there I would’ve just dropped her but the connection I felt with her was so indescribably vivid and real that I didn’t want to just drop her because I would probably never find someone else like her in a 1000 years. Plus it didn’t seem like she was just flirting with me to lead me on to nowhere for her own amusement. She just didn’t seem like that kind of person. If she was she would’ve gotten sick of my constant emotional issues and always trying to make me happy because I’m usually pretty pessimistic. So I continued to talk with her every day as much as I could. On the last day I spoke with her, I asked her why she flirted with me even though she had a boyfriend. She said, ‘To be honest with you, our relationship isn’t that stable.’ I asked her how so, but she didn’t want to talk about it so I respecte that ofc. Then a couple hours later after she suddenly stopped responding to me and then came back, I asked her where she had went. She said she had just got off the phone with her boyfriend. And when I asked how it went, she said she didn’t want to talk, so I just gave her some space. A couple days later she deactivated her account on the messaging platform we used to talk to each other, and I haven’t seen her since. It will have been a week since I’ve seen her tomorrow cause this happened last Sunday (1/17/16) but she deleted her account on Tuesday (1/19/16). Anyway, after she had deactivated, naturally, I was heartbroken and upset. I thought she understood me, I thought she understood and cared more about how emotionally sensitive I am than the average person is more than anyone I had ever met, so when she left, you can imagine how much pain it wrought on me. I went to the same mutual who introduced us to each other for advice. She said I shouldn’t worry about her not coming back because she’s apparently deactivated before but always comes back so when she told me that I wasn’t really angry anymore, but I was definitely still hurt. So yeah, in short I’ve just been spending the last few days since she’s left (including today) crying over her being gone and worrying about not seeing her again. I know it would take time, but like, the problem is that I can’t stop thinking about her. The feelings I have for her are real and more intense then they have been for anyone else. Usually with people in general my feelings are always intense but in this case its more than usual. But I know I need to get her off my mind until she comes back, so this brings me to my question described: how do I let go of her? How do I get her off my mind until she comes back when all I can think about is her and how much I want to talk to her again?

Last comment on Feb 07, 2016 08:45 AM

Vibe: 0

Mixed cultural relationship - any advice helps

Posted anonymously on Jan 16, 2016 03:09 PM 3 Responses

I'm dating someone from a different cultural background. We are both young - turning 21 this year. We became bestfriends in the first couple years of university and then decided to take it to another level. We'll be coming up to our first year anniversary and like all relationships we have problems. His parents and his anxiety/depression being a huge part. I feel like im constantly doing what he wants because he needs more support. I'm leaving the country in the next month for 4 months, and I really have no idea if I should break it off. He constantly reminds me that he loves me, but I don't feel so happy anymore. Am I being dumb and should fight through this because he loves me so strongly and we got a lot of good things going on? Or should I break it off because I'm young, there will always be family issues and maybe this is the best time in my life to be selfish and see what else is out there.

Last comment on Jan 30, 2016 12:54 AM

Vibe: 0

Is this real

Posted anonymously on Jan 14, 2016 08:07 AM 10 Responses

I'm 22 with our 2nd child on the way, we've been together almost 6 years and we'll I don't think we are happy some days it's great we hug and kiss and hold eachother and some days we fight all day long. My doctor said no vaginal intercourse and I'm not into anel. We live in his mother's house and I can't keep a job because he always makes me not go then I end up loosing it. He has a full time job and makes pretty good money but he doesn't know how to budget so we're consistently broke. I need a bra but we can't afford it because we're still scraping by after his ps4 purchase he baught the day before Thanksgiving. Smh because I can't have sex it's caused him to act ridiculous. Getting Hella mad if I don't want to have sex or give him oral last night it got kinda physical when I stopped giving him oral because he kept giving me more and more instructions. Hormones may I remind you are RAGING and I just don't feel attracted to him and more. My parents do dope and my sisters can't help me ither. This doesn't feel like abuse but little things have happened here and there and that's why I'm here. I'm not open to abortion but I'm just feeling like it's gonna get worse the more stress we r put under. I don't want to get hurt while pregnant because I'm not fulfilling his needs I'm just stuck in awe at the fact this is happening

Last comment on Jan 14, 2016 10:23 AM

Vibe: 0

I don't think I am good enough for him

Posted anonymously on Jan 09, 2016 07:05 AM 2 Responses

I am in extreme over thinker, so today after talking to my boyfriend and talking about the reason why I don't like drinking and all my past history and stress related to it. I started to think about everything and why I feel the way I do how come such little things over stress me, why I have such issues, with our relationship when I know I love this man and I want it to work more then anything. I think I may be suffering from depression..... It's a hard thing to admit but the tiniest bit of stress seems like a catastrophe. When I'm extremely stressed, My heart starts to race, my body starts trembling and I find myself short of breath. My body has been aching for months and I'm starting to wonder if it is the depo shot I'm on making me think of self harming thoughts or if life finally broke me. I never have energy, I don't want to see people or be around people, and I could sleep for days if I could. The more I feel this way the more I want to hide from everyone. I can't talk to anyone about it because I'm ashamed because i am supposed to be this strong single mother of 4 that can't be taken down no matter what life throws at her but why does life have to throw so much. Can't it take some back. 2 years ago I was obliviously happy, with my kids dad, he treated me in controlling ways but I had become accustomed to that life. This time 2 years ago I had a beautiful baby boy in my arms a husband that I thought was being a helpful father helping out with my children. Then 3 months from that my life as I knew it turned to a dark storm or betrayal, hurt,and lies. I found out he was molesting my two older children. I'm still so devastated, almost 2 years later it hurts, I don't talk about it because, no one wants to think about such a horrible things. Or everyone wants to know how much time he got, what about how we are holding up, what about where do we go from here. I have this great big fake smile, but I'm really dying on the inside. I feel so alone in my world, wish I knew where to go. My boyfriend drinks not when where together but off with his friends and I just get so upset I hate drinking my parents were alcoholics left us all over the place I ended up being hurt by drunks they left us with. then when I was 17 I was raped by a drunk. my oldest son father from first relationship drank all the time cheating on me everywhere and with everyone. then when I was in my twenties after my dad killed himself I became a drunk drinking everyday until I met my second husband. so I can't stand drinking and I have trust issues after what my kids dad did to them. When he's drinking I'm stressed because I'm wondering what he's doing or who he's with . But he calls me all the time. Then we argue because I don't want him drinking. When and actuality he's not really doing anything he's doing it responsibly but I feel as if I'm not good enough for him. Well I ever be able to trust him or any man for that matter maybe I should just be working on myself and my issues but if I end it, am I giving up on something that could be great. By trying to destroy it before it can really even start. Inside I'm this little girl wanting to be loved and taken care of, but I'm terrified of life, scared that he'll hurt me and will that be the straw that broke the camels back. I think writing all this down I gave myself the answer I needed. I need to give this man a chance, he is not my past, but he may very will be my future.

Last comment on Jan 30, 2016 02:24 AM