Welcome to the new LemonVibe!
Posted by Dennis Hong on Oct 22, 2013 02:12 AM 2 Responses
In case you haven't noticed, we've rebuilt LemonVibe from scratch and added some nifty new features!
Now, instead of just posting blurbs, you can post what we call "tiffs." A tiff is an issue that you have with another person. When you submit a tiff, we'll notify the other person, and they'll have the chance to respond. After all, there are two sides to every argument, and we want to be fair to everyone!
Once you both post your respective sides, everyone else at LemonVibe can weigh in with their comments.
To try it out, click "submit blurb" above and just follow the instructions.
Since we are still in development, please bear with us if you find any bugs. We would love if you reported any issues you come across to email@example.com
Last comment on Nov 22, 2013 11:03 AM
Is she into me or am I imagining things?
Posted by cookiedude on Dec 05, 2013 01:18 PM 9 Responses
I just wrote a blurb with about 5000 characters and after hitting 'submit', it was all gone... yay me!
So here we go again:
This summer, I met a woman through work. She was based 1000 km away in another country (we're both in Europe), but I could tell from her accent she must originally be from somewhere close by.
Shortly after we started working together, she tells me she is on gardening leave until the end of year with full pay and would I be interested in grabbing lunch when she is in town (visiting old friends)? Sure, why not. She seems pleasant enough.
We meet and she is not only pleasant and charming, but also super attractive. Out of my league (also, no way she's single). We mostly talk about travel, as I was in a similar situation the year before and spent almost two months traveling. Lunch is over and I figure I'm never going to see her again or at least not for a long time. But, I do see her again, only four days later. We go for lunch again and I try to fish for some information, like what is her relationship status (by talking about me being single, not by asking her directly!). She isn't saying anything though.
We keep meeting every now and again, always for lunch or coffee, never in the evening. I pushed (not too hard, admittedly) for a dinner date or going for a drink in the evening but she never went for it. She always seemed to entertain my suggestion for a bit, but ultimately shut it down. Except once, when she got off a train coming through my town to grab a quick drink with me and then took the next train to her actual destination. But we barely had an hour.
We have one last lunch before she takes off on a cruise with her mother. It's a bit awkward as I'm not sure what to do, but still pleasant. I suggest another meeting, which she at first agrees to, then tells me she'd rather stay in, pack her bags and watch Twilight. During the early days of the cruise, she sometimes texts me. Then nothing for 2+ weeks. She gets back home on a weekend, the Monday morning after, she texts me, telling me how amazing it was and that I need to come with her on a cruise to Asia next year (she is going with a group of people she met on this trip, she quickly adds).
We decide to meet for coffee one morning and somehow end up also sneaking a bottle of sparkling wine into the place, which we also drink. Before and after this meeting, we both tell each other how we're looking forward to be seeing the other one again and how much we enjoyed it afterwards.
She is then moving on to spend the weekend with the people she met on the cruise. To my surprise, she keeps texting me and sending me pictures of what she's up to all weekend. I reply in kind.
She then goes home for a week, before she takes off for Brazil where she's meeting friends from University. At first we stay in touch during the week, then she falls silent. I ask when her plane leaves, no response. On the day I think she's leaving (two days after my last text and no response from her), I text her again wishing her a good trip. She replies from her layover and we chat for a few minutes before she has to go on her plane.
Since then, I only sent one message asking if she arrived okay and telling her how freezing cold it was here. I haven't heard from her in three days.
1) as it says in the title: is she into me or am I imagining things?
2) there are good reasons for her not getting back to me: besides being on these trips, she is also moving to another city for a new job after she gets back from Brazil. And she hasn't seen the people she is with in Brazil for years. Still, when you are interested in someone, you'd find the time to stay in touch, no?
3) What should I do? Keep texting her even when she's not replying? I don't want to seem clingy or over-eager, but I also feel like there can be no harm in showing her I'm interested in being involved in her life... Right?
Last comment on Dec 06, 2013 07:14 PM
No clue about my sexuality
Posted by rmalter on Nov 25, 2013 11:10 PM 3 Responses
This turned into a fairly long post, skip straight to the end for a short, simple explanation of my dilemma.
I'm a 23yo male and not sure how to classify myself. Since I've been told that by being specific, I can help you tailor your advice (if that's what you feel like responding with) to my needs. I will start in high school and try to include any relevant information.
First, I never masturbated until I was 17. This was not because I thought it was a bad thing, it just never really occurred to me that it was something I ought to try. I was not a social person in high school. I usually found other people boring, and so I didn't really have a chance to have crushes with everybody else. Eventually, when I was a senior, one of my few close friends asked me to be her boyfriend, and because of some terrible reasons that seemed good at the time, I agreed. I wasn't really unhappy with the relationship, but I wasn't very enthusiastic about it either. I had been perfectly content before the transition and didn't really see the point of spending so much time kissing. Eventually she got fed up and we ended things but remained friends.
In college I started to be much more outgoing, and had more chances to notice that there seemed to be something wrong with me. For the first year, I saw that everybody else in my groups of friends tended to pair off within a few months, and concerned roommates and neighbors would offer to set me up with somebody on a regular basis, or tell me that so and so was into me and I should ask her out. I was annoyed that they thought that was more important than letting me read in peace. Eventually I caved to pressure and said yes to somebody who asked me out. That time, we didn't have a decade-old connection to prevent it from being a complete disaster, and it was over in about a week. We had little in common and I was only doing it to try to fit in.
From then up to now, I've been single and for the most part people have stopped thinking it's odd. However, I'm about to graduate and move on to a new set of people who will all likely think that I'm strange. I'm hopeful that grad school will be demanding enough that they won't have time to care, but people always seem to find time to care about other peoples' business.
Those are the facts/history, but obviously you can't say a lot about me based on the just the events of two relationships. So now I get to talk about how I feel. I couldn't have cared less about sex for the first 18ish years of my life. When I first had a girlfriend, I was aware that sex was something that was supposed to be on my mind and I was worried about it. We talked about it on a few occasions, and she said it was fine when I said I didn't think our relationship had progressed far enough yet and didn't have any specific criteria in mind for what "far enough" meant. That was when I started seriously wondering if I was gay, since I had rarely heard of the guy being the one who isn't ready for a sexual relationship. Obviously my second relationship didn't last long enough for that to ever become an issue, but I still didn't really have any way of telling whether or not I was gay.
Since then I've spent some time trying to figure this out but made little progress. There are men and women whom I find attractive and likable, but I don't ask any of them out because I don't really feel like I care about being more than friends, and I don't want to put them through a relationship with me. I've spent some time on aven, since it seemed possible that I could just be asexual, but I wasn't satisfied with that. I was worried that I might just be using the term asexual as an excuse not to approach people, and that by labelling myself asexual I would be limiting my options.
So now my dilemma is this. Should I just try to find a male and a female and use them as guinea pigs to test whether or not I want a sexual relationship? It seems like it would be unfair to have a relationship for that reason, and I'm not the sort of person who could pull off a one-night stand. So I would have to explain my situation to each person I asked to make sure they knew what was going on. I could continue being happy without any sort of relationship, but then there's the chance that I'm not as happy as I would be with one.
If you're trying to skip straight to the dilemma, you've gone just a bit too far. Any advice, comments, questions, personal anecdotes, or (funny) jokes at my expense are welcome.
Last comment on Nov 26, 2013 09:51 AM
Should I suggest a meet-up with a long-ago love interest?
Posted anonymously on Nov 17, 2013 09:05 PM 4 Responses
Here's the story. I'm 31. When I was 17, I spent a summer abroad on a teen tour, where I met a guy we'll call Mr. Blue. We connected immediately, and spent the summer having these long, incredible conversations until late into the night. We were teenagers, of course, but even then it felt...different. Deeper. There was nothing overtly sexual, just some mostly-innocent cuddling and a lot of hours talking. But I fell for him hard.
We saw each other twice during college, and then lost touch for 10 years. Life went on. I dated and fell in love with other men. I still thought about Blue from time to time, about the way we connected and how it felt so different talking with him. Every so often, maybe once a year, I'd try to use the power of the internet to locate him, but to no avail. Until this summer, when a Google search finally turned up his LinkedIn profile.
We reconnected, exchanged a few rather amazing emails, and eventually had a 2-hour phone conversation that took me right back to that summer when we met. He said he was glad I had found him, and that he had though about me and that summer over the years too. The conversation flowed so naturally as we got to know each other again and began to chip away at the time that had passed since seeing each other last.
That conversation was about a month ago. Of course, my one-time feelings for him have reignited. He's living many states away, and has a nontraditional job that makes it very difficult to stay in touch consistently. That said, I have been thinking more and more about throwing out there the idea of meeting up in person. There's nothing that would conveniently bring me to where he lives, or him to where I live. This would have to be a fully intentional choice.
I guess I'm wondering whether this sounds to unbiased ears like even a remotely good idea. I realize that the idea of reconnecting with someone you haven't seen in a decade might arouse skepticism. I'm a pretty skeptical type, not terribly prone to romantic daydreams like this. But still, I can't seem to get him out of my head, and I hate the idea of going another decade wondering. If you're in favor of meeting up, any good ideas about how/when to bring up the idea? Thanks in advance.
Last comment on Nov 22, 2013 11:40 AM
Should be over it by now.
Posted by Leeway Harris on Nov 11, 2013 12:42 PM 8 Responses
So, I've never posted here before. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but it might help just to type out what I'm feeling, and maybe I'll get some sense of release, and if anybody has any advice for me I'd certainly be happy to hear it.
I had a bad relationship end about a year ago. It wasn't even a long one, it lasted about a year, start to finish. We connected deeply on a few levels, some physical, some emotional. Looking back, I think our individual dysfunctions just happened to coincide with each other - to vibrate at the same frequency, so to speak. Whatever the case, it made for an intense relationship, in which there were definitely some good times, but for the most part it was an opera of pain.
So, when it was over I was heartbroken and relieved at the same time. I knew I'd have to go through the mourning process, and deal with my sense of loss. But I also knew it was necessary for it to end. We were killing each other emotionally, and there was no way to save it.
Six months went by, wherein we had no contact at all. I used that time to heal, to the best of my ability. It still hurt when I thought about it, I wasn't 100% healed. But I made a LOT of progress letting go of the pain, anger, resentment, all the negative feelings associated with the relationship.
Then she happened to be in my town to visit some friends, one of whom was my roommate, and she was about to go on a long trip. Maybe it was a mistake, but I reached out to her. I guess the plan was for us to avoid each other while she was in town, but I got to thinking how sad it was that after all this time we couldn't just end the hostility and be friendly with one another. And I was happy for her for the adventure she was about to go on, so I inboxed her on Facebook. Two sentences, just saying hi, I hope you have an amazing time, take care of yourself... the most inoffensive, sincere, magnanimous gesture I could possibly have made.
She responded with some really poisonous, angry stuff. And I was stunned. Seriously stunned, and absolutely devastated. She blames me, and only me, for everything. She said I made her ashamed of who she was, that I made her feel like she had to change who she was to please me... I didn't do any of that. She brought her own shame into the relationship, as I did. We both made mistakes, and she is EXACTLY as responsible for how things turned out as I am.
Maybe I shouldn't have engaged, but I wrote her back this LOOOOONG email, like ten thousand words, basically saying EVERYTHING that was left in my heart. I apologized again for each individual mistake I made, even though I had made the same apologies dozens of times while we were together (apologies that always fell on deaf ears, as she is apparently not the forgiving type). But then I challenged her to take responsibility herself, and acknowledge the mistakes she made as well. As I said, I had made a lot of progress toward forgiving her in recent months, and I freely extended that forgiveness, even though she didn't ask for it.
Well, we went back and forth one more time, with me trying to make peace and her injecting her poison directly into my veins. It was like she put me right back to where I started when we broke up. Then she blocked me on Facebook. Weirdly, she unblocked me a few weeks later, but I have no idea what that means. We're not Facebook friends anymore, but I'm no longer on her blocked list apparently because her name comes up in posts and photos she's tagged in.
So, that was six months ago. Again, we have had no contact during that time, and the only news I hear about her life is what I get from a mutual friend (I never ask, it just comes up naturally in conversation and I usually end up changing the subject, so I know almost nothing about her life, which is probably as it should be). I should be completely over this by now. But almost every day, my thoughts still run away with me, and I have the same argument again in my head. It just feels so unjust, and unfair. I don't want her back, not as a girlfriend anyway. I want her forgiveness, and I want her to acknowledge that she hurt me too, and that I hurt EXACTLY as much as she did.
Maybe it's because I don't have that much going on right now, and my brain craves stimulation, and that's the freshest, rawest (is that a word? "Most raw"?) wound it can poke at. Even though they're bad feelings, they're feelings, and when I'm bored/lonely maybe my heart just wants to feel something rather than nothing.
It's all in my head. This is never, ever going to be resolved. She's NEVER going to own up to her part in this, and I'm not going to get the resolution I crave. But I think some part of me still believes it's possible. Otherwise, why can't I let it go? It has been a YEAR!!! The whole relationship only lasted a year! What do I have to do to let this go and leave it in the past once and for all?
Last comment on Nov 18, 2013 01:17 AM
dutch men; worth it or not?
Posted by victor on Nov 04, 2013 11:29 PM 9 Responses
i like this guy, hes dutch. its been a year now since i met him. he lives in holland,i live in aruba. he comes here every year. the 2nd & 3rd time we met again, face to face. would just stare at me, (we flirted through whatsapp on the first time we met, he was back to holland by the ) now, on his 3rd trip, i told him i like him via whatsapp again. & he said he likes me too. its just we are worlds apart.we dont talk much. he likes my posts on facebook often.but he doesnt message me. the last time i messaged him,he didnt respond to me. so i didnt bother to try again. so, should i wait? or just live my life?
Last comment on Nov 08, 2013 06:38 AM
My mom disapproves of my boyfriend because of his religion
Posted anonymously on Oct 28, 2013 09:54 AM 4 Responses
I've been dating someone for a few months and he is Jewish, while I am Catholic. When my mom found out that he is Jewish, she told me I'd better "nip it in the bud", "end things soon", etc. Periodically she asks me if I'm still seeing him, and will make the same comments. She says she doesn't understand how I can date someone of a different religion.
I have no issue with dating someone of a different religion. I'm upset that she's writing him off without even knowing who he is as a person. Whether it's this guy or a guy in the future, I hate that she is so closed-minded and thinks she has the right to tell me what to do when it comes to my love life. Interfaith marriages are so common these days, and they are allowed in the Catholic Church. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with her? I haven't even let her know that we are in an actual relationship because of the way she's reacted.
Last comment on Oct 29, 2013 02:41 PM
Dealing with pets after moving in together
Posted on Oct 24, 2013 12:40 PM 8 Responses
My girlfriend and I got a new place together a few months ago. I have some very nice leather furniture, and she has two cats. It's been less than a month, and they've already scratched up an ottoman.
She tried spraying this cat repellant stuff on the furniture, but it doesn't look like it's helping at all. She even tried putting these plastic claw covers on them, but they just pull them off within a few days. We've also bought them several scratching posts, but they apparently prefer leather.
At this point, we're out of ideas. Personally, I think we should just have them declawed. The way I see it, these are indoor cats. They NEVER go outside, so I don't see the problem there. I'll even pay for the procedure. I'm open to any suggestions, but I'm pretty sick of getting my furniture ruined.
Ugh. I have no idea what to do from here, but declawing my cats is not an option. It's cruel and not something that I think most vets will even consider doing. If they were ever to run away, they would have no way of defending themselves.
Aside from setting aside a bedroom to create a cat palace (or cat prison), I feel like we've tried all other avenues. I suppose that I could just keep on them with the claw caps...check/replace them daily?
I'm willing to explore other options, I just can't bring myself to have them declawed.
Last comment on Nov 08, 2013 08:31 PM
Dating-if I am the only one asking questions, does that mean he's not interested?
Posted by Single1 on Oct 21, 2013 07:25 PM 5 Responses
I'm currently online dating and have "met" about 4-5 men and have exchanged texts and so forth. It seems to me there is a trend where I'm the one asking all of the questions or starting the text threads. I would normally blow these men off, but they answer quickly and provide interesting if not funny comments. They just don't seem to reciprocate and then I feel awkward. I don't want to continue on if someone isn't interesting, but I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. Is this just a "man thing" or am I doing something wrong.
Last comment on Oct 26, 2013 12:10 PM
Update: My relationship with a man 10 years older
Posted by xLexi on Sep 22, 2013 03:36 PM 2 Responses
Some of you probably remember my two different blurbs quite some time ago about my situation with dating a man who was 10 years older than I am and my family's resentment towards that. Some of you asked for the update so here it is! I apologize its been so long but I got very busy with my life since then. I think its been around 6 months now? How crazy!
After much debate, I moved in with this guy on April 1st. It was really amazing for us and our relationship really flourished. I put my family at arm's length and had made it very clear to them that I was not going to put up with them and their comments and invasive behaviors. They very much resented this decision and told me I was abandoning them and not living up to their expectations of me..which I basically told them was their problem not mine. I really began to feel that I couldn't be responsible for that feeling in them because this was my life and I felt my decision was right and that I was going to stick with it. Everything went very well! We struggled a little financially until he got his promotion at work and things were really starting to look up for the better.
Then I kinda screwed up...I had forgotten why I put my family on the outs so much in the first place. I really started wondering why I didnt spend more time with them and was a little hurt that they never called me to go to birthday parties or dinners..I always found out about this stuff after they had happened. I really forgot that I had done this because they make me miserable. In the end I would love to have an ideal relationship with them, where I could let them into my life with no problem and not feel attacked or invaded. But that just wont happen. I let them back in and struggled to try and have a relationship with them again which ended horrifically. It created a lot of tension between this guy and me and he began to feel like I was being forced to pick between him and my family and that it was unfair to them. So we decided to take a step back and I moved back in with my parents so that maybe they would feel better about our relationship if we decided to take a step back.
I think this was a mistake. I explained to my parents that we decided this for them and they have began to call me a liar. They said they really enjoyed their time when I wasn't there and now they feel like I am disrupting their life again and that he is the one who didn't want me and can't "afford me" and thats why we decided for me to move out. So in all reality this is completely back firing on us. I am absolutly miserable living here again, and I am fighting with them like crazy because I am refusing to roll over and let them control me anymore. I layed out my terms from the get go that I was not going to disturb the way I liked to live just because I was back with them. I have my own agenda and my own schedule and they still have a big problem with this. They don't like me growing up but they are responding and dealing with it in very toxic ways. I feel like they are now toxic to my life as well.
So this guy and I are talking about rebuilding our relationship in the way we liked it and the way it thrived before hand and being very consistent in keeping our life private from my family. I am very hurt that I have to make this decision because I do still love my family, but I am more hurt everyday when I can't even function and live happily because they feel I should be living a certain way. A lot of this was me having to take a step back and look at what I could do to make myself feel stronger and be a better person and realizing that I am not the horrible awful things they say I am. Basically this is where I am now. Trying to figure out how to set boundaries for an overbearing codependent family and be happy with how I am living and with who I am and the decisions I make.
Last comment on Nov 08, 2013 11:30 AM
I'm considering suicide,help me.
Posted anonymously on Sep 12, 2013 03:14 PM 11 Responses
Hey guys, i'm a thirteen year old girl from liverpool,england.
I haven't any real friends and I cant concentrate in school because i'm disliked and unwanted people think i'm a easy target. I cry myself to sleep, the only reason i'm still alive is because I dont want to hurt my family and it'd be really selfish to do that to them. I'm considering walking infront of a bus or lorry to make it seem like an accident but I still dont want to hurt my family in such a cruel way. What could I do to make friends to support me and help me through nasty high school years? Help me before I make the wrong decision and end myself please.
Last comment on Sep 16, 2013 08:11 PM
Is it easier for men or am I imagining it?
Posted by justwondering on Sep 04, 2013 10:53 PM 5 Responses
Hello everyone, my first blurb. Really enjoying the site and the advice sounds really genuine.
To make a long story short, I've been single for a long time, almost 10 years since my divorce. My ex is on his second long term relationship already, both from an on line dating site. This time, he was even on the same site as me ( my kids told me) and within 2 months, he's taking the kids to meet her already.
I've had a much harder time, varying from few responses, to a few short emails and then they disappear or men that are just interested in hooking. Now I know I am probably not doing the right things, I never dated much when I was younger, but ouch, it hurts to see that my ex barely spent much time on his own. I don't regret leaving the marriage, I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone and have to watch him have such an easy time. I know, sour grapes but hey, it's been a bit of a low time.
Last comment on Sep 06, 2013 10:55 AM
Ex uses our photo for online dating profile
Posted anonymously on Aug 25, 2013 06:23 PM 15 Responses
I dated this amazing man who I felt very much in love with for about three years. Unfortunately it didn't work out, and he even moved to another state for work six moths after we broke up. The move broke my heart and I realized it was time to really move forward. Before he left he said all his I love you and I'll be back BS. At this point I'm really convinced he's gone for good, so no weird hopes, communication or romanticizing going on here. Now, six months forward he tells me he's on OKC looking for 'the one'. I, of course did the unthinkable and searched the site until I found him, and there he is, using a picture of us as his profile. I really want to like this and be flattered, but instead I'm livid. I mean, seriously! wtf?! He left, he broke my heart and is now using our photos as bait? This may be just steaming, but I'm so tempted to tell him to
take them down. It feels inappropriate, he's no longer part of my life and what we had it's in the past. Advice? What to do? Men can
be insensible, but this is on the jerk side.
Last comment on Nov 08, 2013 12:21 PM
Third Time Lucky?
Posted anonymously on Jul 26, 2013 07:01 AM 3 Responses
So I've met this guy - quite randomly yet we exchanged numbers and went on a first date... which was three weeks ago. He said that he wanted to see me again and texted me afterwards to say that he had a great night. I replied the next day to say that I had a good time as well and that we should do it again. However, since then we've both been busy and we haven't been able to catch up again, plus we're both awkward texters so its been difficult to keep the momentum going. Should I try one more time to see him or just cut it loose?
Last comment on Aug 21, 2013 11:56 AM
You get to cheat. But...only once a year.
Posted anonymously on Jul 23, 2013 07:13 PM 3 Responses
I read an article the other day about a Russian basketball player who's wife allows him to cheat on her once per year. I get that there is temptation - even more so when you are in the spotlight (there's nothing like an athlete or a celebrity to make you toss your panties) - but, really? Once per year? Her reasoning was that if something is forbidden, it makes you want to do it that much more. Yes, I get it - but isn't that a slippery slope? Say he uses his hall pass in March. At that point, he has 8 months where he's technically not allowed to cheat. So, now, since he cheated already this year, he won't do it again? I kind of feel like that's the equivalent of giving a baby 1 lick of a sucker then taking it away. For a year. That's going to be a baby who is constantly thinking about wanting another lick, right? How is that helpful in keeping a solid relationship? Or am I missing the point?
Last comment on Aug 29, 2013 01:39 PM
Worried about the future
Posted anonymously on Jun 21, 2013 10:48 PM 4 Responses
I will be a high school junior in the fall of this coming school year. During my sophomore year, I was under immense stress dealing with the loss of my mother during my freshman year & furthermore having a part time job that became more of a full time job during the holiday season. Needless to say, school was no longer a priority of mine during freshman or sophomore year. During my freshman year, I failed algebra & during sophomore I failed geometry and u.s. history. I've wanted to be a school teacher my whole life. If I work my hardest and achieve good grades the next two years, will a college accept me? I'm looking for some reassurance I've been encountering sleepless nights.
Last comment on Jun 25, 2013 05:57 AM
Having trouble moving on from breakup
Posted by asmythe on Jun 07, 2013 05:40 PM 7 Responses
Despite hiding my pain...
it's been nearly 5 months since my first love left me and I'm still in so much pain over losing her. I'm mad at myself for not being able to let this all go, and at her for treating my love for her like it's nothing, and moving on to another guy AND TELLING ME ABOUT IT, as if she's directly spitting in my face. I told her I had forgiven her, but, I was so hurt, I just told her to never speak to me again for a while, I had her block me off completely last week. I am proud of myself for this and the fact I live for myself now more than ever...but I still feel so much pain inside I rarely express. But I still have to see my exes siblings at the MA school I met her, and it hurts me how much I still remember her. Remember all the things we did together, the things we enjoyed so much...
I've tried to get back out there, but nothing has worked so far.
Last comment on Jul 30, 2013 07:24 PM
were do I stand?
Posted anonymously on Jun 05, 2013 06:08 PM 3 Responses
So there is this guy I have known since high school we have always had an off and on thing never sleep together but we have kissed and we hang out once and a while movies, get togethers, etc. randomly text each other sometime me first sometime him. He is the one that usually invites me but truth be told once we are there it not like we go in clinging to each other but he is respectful making sure if it is a place I haven't been or with people I don't know that he offers to get my drink or doesn't leave me just standing alone or any thing like that. I guess I just wonder why we have never moved pasted this never been boyfriend/girlfriend we are friends but there are gaps between or hangouts and communications sometimes as long as a few months.
Last comment on Jun 10, 2013 06:37 AM
Look at my profile and tell me if you feel the love—hah.
Posted anonymously on Jun 02, 2013 07:13 PM 13 Responses
I am 30 years old, and I want to get into a serious relationship. I am 5 10", skinny, partial balding(but you cannot notice), smart, and surprisingly athletic. I am looking for feedback on why I might not get responses from women. And also why I am getting responses— weird but I like to hear both sides.
Just a fun guy that is currently sporting a mustache and a beard. I laugh at internet memes, smile at babies, and if I could sing— I would sing in the rain—hah.
I am a shy at first, but when I feel comfortable I become extroverted. But to be honest you would never notice this, because I smile at strangers, willing to hold my assertions in meetings, network at conventions, and introduce others to complete strangers — hah
I have a competitive nature that I am able to keep in control, because I feel that the role of competition is to make the opponent stronger not beat them down. Since I have been on both sides of the coin it is a concept I have learned and appreciated.
Currently, I am working part-time and working at my friend's start-up. In the up coming future I will be taking night-time classes to help further my writing skills and to attain a better grip over business. Some people would say it is quite interesting that I already have my masters, yet I want to keep going on. However, the truth is that I am just keeping up with the plan I had in my mind back in high school. Yes, I will admit it did change a bit, but I always wanted to further my education beyond a masters.
I chose to transition from full-time to part-time this year, because going at nights and taking classes was exhausting.
I also volunteer to teach Sunday School every week, though I am planning to stop after the summer, because it is little hectic juggling Sunday School, Classes, work, and anything else that comes in the way—hah. I will probably volunteer to do another tasks in church that takes less thought, but still fulfills a purpose. I like to help people, I want things to go smoothly, and frankly I can make it go smoothly if I plan and pray.
I am here on this site because I just want to meet someone special (yeojachingu) on this site. I understand this might take some time, but I up for the journey.
I enjoy going out and talking with friends. I plan everything I do and rarely do spontaneous. Granted, you can plan the spontaneous behavior and make it appear spontaneous, it is still planned.
I cannot wait for summer so I can go to the Mid-Summer dance events at the Lincoln Center.
I enjoy a game of tennis, basketball, ping pong, and swimming. Though I am outside person, I am not against kicking your butt in Nintendo Wii—hah. I have showed some co-workers my skills at employee tournaments.
I am going to list some quotes from what other people have told me:
"you do not say much...but when you say something it is very impactful..." — best friend from elementary school
"I have to try to make you laugh once a day" — a male friend
"you are pretty fun guy" — a random guy
"I do not think I have to worry about you...you always have everything put together" — a older male friend
"you are pretty slim..." — a friend
"OMG...I thought I was older than you" — a law student in her mid 20s
"you do not look like you are 30" — woman in her early 20s
"you're skin is so supple" - a woman in her 20s
"...you are soo tall" - a 3yr old
WHAT I AM GOOD AT:
- breaking down concepts
- understanding mathematical concepts though I am not classically trained to be a mathematician
- [[legal research]]
- teaching kids the concepts of the [[bible]]
- reading body language
- and more to come
still working on it... too many to choose from... I mean I can go on....
I like the show Numb3rs, How I met your mother...
Food & Beverage:
oolong tea, lung ching tea 龙井茶, ginger beer, hibiscus tea, [[soursop]]
milk shakes, [bubble tea], mooncake, [[steak with mushrooms]]
lychee, longyan, cheeries, black berries, fish balls, red snapper, fish balls, glass noodles, sugar cane
bok choi, egg noodles, squid, kimichi, and ackee & saltfish...
SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT:
work, design, papers, love, God, family, meeting someone special (obvious...)
YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME :
You just want to say hi there, and if you are curious to learn more about me.
Also if the conversation is going great, I see no reason why we can't meet up within a few days. I'm so used to the offline scene were the dating part is fast, and the courting in the relationship is to be slow, sweet, and special.
If you like someone why should you wait, you are only guaranteed today.
You think you can fit a glass sliper — hah. I am just messing with you.
Last comment on Jun 26, 2013 02:35 AM
Online Dating Addiction
Posted by BetsyBing on May 17, 2013 05:21 AM 7 Responses
In the last 3 years following my divorce I have been attempting to online date. My experience in meeting and dating men from these sites have been disheartening and in large part traumatizing. I have made many attempts, on many sites, with many different methods and the result is always the same.
Over time, I have changed and now value having a relationship much less and value my independence more. I do not feel that pursuing a relationship is in my best interest at this time. I have some short bouts of loneliness, but overall I am satisfied and happy with my life.
What has brought me to lemonvibe is that I believe I have somewhat of an addiction to online dating. As a person who has never had an addiction to anything, this is a new situation for me. I have been able to go for longer periods of time without putting up a profile, but eventually something will trigger me and I will put one up.
My first step in dealing with this was to identify some triggers...they include being seriously overworked, having brief work contact with men in my age range, meeting people in relationships or having trouble with relationships (part of my work). One of my worst triggers is that everyone I know either thinks I am dating someone great or that I will "find someone very soon." Even my best friend who has heard all of my bad dating stories still believes I will "find someone." I went to a therapist once who was convinced I would find someone, and instead of focusing on the traumatic incident that had just occurred in my life, he wanted to talk about my love life!
I am looking for advice on how to handle the perception in others that everyone will find someone, that we all live in some type of romantic fantasy world! I have become aware of the real truth, that not everybody does find someone. Any advice would be appreciated, as I work on handling these triggers...
Last comment on Jun 05, 2013 04:25 PM
how do you lose interest in a few days after pursuing someone for weeks?
Posted anonymously on May 01, 2013 01:09 PM 10 Responses
if a guy pursued you over four weeks and you were extremely careful to not make any first moves, be very cautious about his interest, and only offered reciprocity to his actions, and he finally makes out with you and there is chemistry - what does it mean when he continues to text you with familiarity or ways to make you smile the weeks after - but doesn't ask you out again? finally, upon getting together again for a drink he explains that his parents are in bad health and he may not be in town and would like to take things slow. but his actions seem more friendly then romantic? does this mean he lost interest in a matter of a week? how does that happen?
Last comment on Sep 06, 2013 11:02 AM