What should I do?
Posted anonymously on May 19, 2015 07:58 AM 1 Response
Ok I'm 14 years old and I think... Well I know I'm in love with this girl who is my same age. I've liked her since the 7th grade but I just recently realized my love for her. I've known her since the first grade and our parents are pretty good friends. In fact, I've been to her house for dinner a few times with my family. We're not like the best of friends but we do talk. It's usually just sharing stories and it's not very frequent. I think she would consider me her friend but I'm not sure. I've made an effort to talk to her more lately but I don't have her number. My friends make fun of me for liking her because she has small breasts/butt but I see past that. They pressure me and push me to ask her out but I feel like we're not even good enough friends yet. Most of the people I know know that I like her. What should be my next step in getting to know her better, and then what should I do?
Last comment on May 20, 2015 08:50 PM
Ghosted by my boyfriend
Posted anonymously on May 11, 2015 08:43 AM 3 Responses
Backstory: boyfriend and I both in our mid-thirties, been dating for nearly 2 years. First 6 months were amazing, the rest of our relationship has it's highs and lows, mostly fighting over his work and not spending enough time together or traveling together.
Recently, I moved to a new city and the plan was that he would move up here as well in a few months. We had thought we'd move in together but he said that our fights concerned him and he didn't think he was ready. To which I replied that if we're not ready to make this move after nearly 2 years together, maybe it's time to walk away. I'm not in a rush to be married or anything, but feel like at this stage of our relationship, if we're not moving forward, that what is really the point. He told me he loved me over and over and said that we would work something out.
He was supposed to come back to see me before I left on a trip and canceled on me last minute over text message, which is highly unlike him and he didn't even call me to talk that night or once while I was away. His behaviors were all really strange and I spent the weekend in emotional turmoil trying to figure out why my boyfriend just stopped talking to me. He finally replied to me on Sunday and we both agreed to take a break. So, I guess I'm single? This whole thing was so sudden and unlike his typical communication that I'm really having a hard time understanding his behavior. If anyone has any insight, it would be appreciated.
Last comment on May 12, 2015 01:15 PM
I found a conversation w/ bf and his daughters friend (minor)
Posted anonymously on May 08, 2015 08:12 PM 6 Responses
I came across a texting conversation btwn my bf and his daughters friends sister (Minor child). The conversation was innocent and he wasn't hiding it whatsoever, but he initiated the texting using a popular messanger app. He thinks I am going over board, im demanding he seek professional help. I would have a problem with an adult male messaging my child, he doesn't see the issue. I do not want to ask friends or relatives For advice.
Last comment on May 14, 2015 04:32 PM
Save it Please help
Posted anonymously on Apr 28, 2015 03:38 PM 5 Responses
I need to fix my relationship. I have talked to him since October and we became really close but he got texts from this girl that she liked him...,he said he got bored with me and things started to fall apart. I have been trying to do whatever I can to try to fix it but somehow I keep failing (meeting his mom, going on dates, walking with him) I need advice on what to do all my friends say to end it but if u truly knew how much he means to me that's the last thing I want to do. I need to know how/what to do to gain attention and get what I fell in love with... Please help me I'm desperate to save this
Last comment on Apr 29, 2015 12:29 PM
Divorced Relationship Advice
Posted anonymously on Apr 21, 2015 02:35 PM 4 Responses
I've been dating this girl for about 6 months. Known her for a while, and we dated briefly back in college. She's recently divorced, so I know that changes all the rules. We started out strong, great relationship, very affectionate, talked all the time but still had personal lives. Recently, it's been confusing.
In the last month or so, I've only seen her in groups. No alone time, but she always invites me out with them.
She doesn't text first anymore, but she generally responds pretty quick. I didn't text her at all for a week, didn't hear a word until I finally cracked.
She's not affectionate in public/groups, but in the few minutes saying goodbye she's extremely affectionate.
She's recently apologized for being flaky on alone time and that we haven't been intimate (We haven't had sex in almost 2 months), so she's acknowledged both issues but nothing has changed.
Seems like I've become her Plan B depending on what else comes up, but I'm always invited out with the groups. We both lead very busy lives, but zero time alone seems excessive.
I've asked if everything's good a couple times and she keeps saying there's nothing to worry about. I'm sure she's reclaiming her independence after the divorce, but where does that leave me? Should I just back off and wait to hear from her, see if that changes anything?
Last comment on Apr 29, 2015 01:02 PM
Am I annoying her?
Posted anonymously on Apr 21, 2015 01:32 PM 2 Responses
I'm a guy and I've never had any close female friends so I don't really know what to expect around girls - let alone girls that I like. That's why I'm going to make this fairly detailed with background information (while keeping it anonymous for myself).
There's a girl I really like in a few of my university classes and lectures. I've seen her two days a week for about 5 weeks. I have to endure the days in between. I live for those 2 days :D
My question is: Am I being that annoying person that you don't really want to talk to but do just because you want to be kind? I think that this is very possible because she seems like a very courteous person.
We see each other while waiting for class, in class, in breaks between classes and while walking to the station after class. My point being the only reason we talk is because of class. We never meet when there isn't class. I usually approach her because I'm always looking around (probably for her :D) and see her first. I haven't tried being around her and not approaching. I really don't want to try that. But in the rare case that she sees me first, she'll always make the effort to approach me.
We talk about work, class, the weekend, secondary school, friends, movies etc. Sometimes it feels like a lot of small-talk but I guess conversations with anyone are like that. I might need to grow my funny bone a bit. Our conversations are no different to conversations that I would have with one of my guy friends.
We sit together if we're in class or waiting for something. On a day when we have 2 hours of class, we'll spend one hour waiting or walking together. One time after class she asked me if I wanted to come run an errand with her. That's about all the time we've spent together.
Writing this question and reading through it has allowed me to summarise and evaluate the situation outside of my head. I now realise that she doesn't mind being around me in person. But now I am also able to tell what made me doubt her friendliness in the first place.
I added her on Facebook within the first few times I saw her. I don't private message her often - maybe once or twice a week. 90% of the time it's me initiating the conversation. Usually it's about university or just something funny. The conversations only average for about 2-6 messages. She uses a lot of "LOL"s and "OMG HAHAHAHA"s but seems disconnected from the conversation. I am always leading the conversation and I usually send the last message. A conversation has never ended with her message. I am used to having many hour long conversations with my (guy) friends.
In our brief online conversations I managed to subtly ask her to a movie. She said she didn't have the money or time. We met the next week and she brought up that conversation and explained to me why she didn't have time. There was a genuine reason
My classes will change in a few weeks (end of semester) and there is about a 60% chance of me being in her class again.
My intentions: This is literally the girl of my dreams. That being said, if our relationship can't be escalated any further than just "friends", I would be fine with that. Also, if I am annoying her I would rather stop approaching her than continuing being annoying
Thanks for spending the time to read through this and thanks in advance for anyone that provides advice :D. Writing this has itself cleared things up for me but it would be good to get a 3rd person view on it. This is a summary of the questions I still have:
- Why is she acting differently online than she is acting in person?
- Am I being annoying in my messages or in general?
- The reason the online conversation stops is because she doesn't reply to my last message. Should I stop refraining from sending multiple consecutive messages? I try not to because I see it as annoying
- Should I ask her to a movie again (or something else)?
- Am I worrying too much? (I probably am) It's just that I really like her and I want to catch and work on any problems early on
- Any advice on getting friendlier before the end of semester? In the current state of our friendship, I guess she might forget me by next semester :D
- I barely know what I want from this friendship (probably because I'm new to talking to girls) but do you have any idea what she wants?
Thanks SO much!
Last comment on Apr 24, 2015 10:39 AM
Posted anonymously on Apr 19, 2015 02:39 PM 3 Responses
hello :) so my boyfriend is really really clingy/needy and even though it's fine but most of the time I feel suffocated. He got Twitter just to stalk me and reply to EVERY single tweet I tweet,wanted my snapchat even though I didn't give it to him, created Tumblr bc I don't go on Twitter because he is there and he got mad when I didn't give him my password and even changed his place in class to sit exactly right behind me. Then he had the nerve to ask my friend why am I always so sad and it's getting really annoying that she's sad and I'm like okayy. Tbh I just really want to break up with him but if I do he will convince every single one of my guy friends to hate me. And even if I told him he was being clingy he would just laugh it off. I don't want to hurt him but I'm extremely annoyed with him. Im his first girlfriend so my friend told me he doesn't know all the couple stuffs. And he also wants to hug me but I don't like affection and he won't understand that. Please help me. Also, one major thing is that just because some people gave him a hard time he thinks he needs to be treated like a king. That annoys me the most bc I suffer from depression ,anxiety and I feel really suicidal so whenever I can't do whatever he wants me to do He gets annoyed at me. Then if he is happy and I'm having a shitty day he automatically wants me to drop my problems and be happy with him like I can't do that. Just please help me and what to do Im so confused.
Last comment on Apr 20, 2015 10:44 AM
Trying to save my marriage
Posted by ScaryBusey on Apr 17, 2015 07:47 AM 1 Response
Background: My spouse and I were married in 2013, we split indefinitely after their ex had their kid (3 months after the marriage) and saw other people.
In 2014 I jumped from town to town running from addiction and abusive partners. I was homeless and my organs were slowly starting to shut down. My spouse's ex and child had moved out earlier in the year, so I called and begged to come home. Within two weeks I was detoxing 6 hours away from where I'd been, on my spouse's couch.
Once I started meeting people in this area, my spouse had proposed a 4-way. I caved, and it was a mortifying experience that I don't want to witness again any time soon. I have a hard time seeing my spouse with other people. They let it go for a month, then went behind my back to try and arrange another one with two of our friends. I didn't know they were texting back and forth until one of them showed me what was going on. I was heartbroken and couldn't stop crying for a couple days. I felt so betrayed and used... Why did he go behind my back? He told me he had been scared and didn't want to lose me, eventually I forgave him, but my trust has been shakey.
Our place is small, and sometimes if too many people crash here people will crash in our bed. The friend that told me about everything approached me again a few weeks later. Apparently my spouse and them had been fondling eachother in bed through the night. I confronted my spouse, who begged me not to go and said it wouldn't happen again. The next morning the friend's lipstick was all over my spouse's back, but I wrote that off as "that's why you don't wear makeup to bed" and kept an eye open.
I've been here for 4 months now. I have been 100% loyal to my spouse. My spouse was acting on edge and convinced I was gonna leave out of nowhere. Last Saturday I found out that the same friend had been dry humped by my spouse in my bed with me next to them. I was asleep and they were drunk, but my spouse his this from me for a few days before this friend came clean again... The friend wanted my spouse in them, but apparently my spouse "snapped out of it" and took a shower... I was shattered.
I love my spouse with all my heart and I don't really have family to turn to... Should I just turn a blind eye? My body is a mess from the drug use, I'm about 5'5 and 150lbs, and I personally don't think I'm attractive. The last person I witnessed my spouse screw was twice my size, but the ones they sneak around with are both skinny and one is a cross dresser.
Does my spouse have the capacity to be loyal? Or am I wasting my time?
Last comment on Apr 17, 2015 09:02 AM
5 years and fighting to finish the LDR
Posted anonymously on Apr 17, 2015 04:42 AM 5 Responses
I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for about five years. He treats me well, he is kind and loving to my family, and he works very hard to make sure his family is taken care of.
Here's the thing: we've been long distance for 5 years. We have had rough patches but always found a way to make this work. Some insecurities exist in our relationship because he is 28, and graduating with a bachelors in science this spring (never had held a full time job while I at 24, have held a full time job for 2 years), and knows that I want to travel the world. But he says he cannot, that he owes himself and his mother and grandfather the best care. I respect this. I admire it and love him deeper for it. But it kills me on the inside- my biggest dreams in life have been to see and help people around the world before I settle down.
He reacts so negatively when I, in a light mood, talk about every dream place or duty I have for myself- like, he gets uncontrollable nervous and upset- because, I know, we both feel on the inside that I am waiting for him to have that financial security, and maybe his obligations will never allow him to do that, in a time frame of the next 3-4 years like I hope.
What do you think? Is it time for me to do what I need to do? I feel incredibly selfish, but my heart needs to setyle this before I am married (and I think he's planning on proposing when he does get that full time job).
Last comment on Apr 17, 2015 09:45 AM
No confidence anymore
Posted anonymously on Apr 07, 2015 11:50 AM 4 Responses
recently I have been feeling really self conscious, I've never been the most confident person in the world but lately it's been worse partly because I have a holiday coming up and I'm going to have to brave getting into a bikini and secondly I've just lost my job But I have found my bf makes me feel worse. It's nothing that he does on purpose but because he is so confident and I'm not I feel even worse about myself like I should be like him and be full of confidence. He is border line arrogant though which really bugs me. I have told him but he just laughs it off but his attitude makes me feel worse :/
Last comment on Apr 17, 2015 07:53 AM