Lonely and probably stupidly hopeful. Some advice would be nice.
Posted anonymously on Aug 18, 2014 01:48 PM 5 Responses
So I'm young, 18 to be honest. I had one very serious relationship before this, fully sexual (excessively sexual actually, but I wasn't complaining) and ever since that ended, most other relationships have gone to complete shit rather quickly, both at my fault and theirs. I've been quite unlucky since my first score to be honest. However, now I find myself in an odd position. Everyone's going to college, I myself am not. Why am I not, you may ask? First of all because I'm aware college is not a wish fulfillment factory. Second, I'm a musician/actor, and have already had a decent enough success to have a shot at making it, and I have recently had an amazing opportunity thrown at my feet that could shoot my into a record deal. However, I have, through all this character building and freedom, missed out on the best part of college...
Girls. Cause let's face it, what's life without them if you're a straight guy? (Lots and lots of masturbating. Which I've already figured out.)
So here now is the actual question. How do I remedy this? Unlike most of my peers, I haven't been thrown into a social pot where we're all forced to see each other. I can hide in my cave if I want to. Well this sucks, cause to be honest it's going on two years now that I've been alone and fuck it I'm lonely. I would like someone to share this shit with, and to cuddle with, and to have sex with, but currently aside from a sex doll my options are limited. So... got any advice for me on this dating scene? I skipped out on the four bumper years of college sadly and got straight into the mandibles of life, but I still like college girls (and who the hell doesn't?), so some help with this dilemma would be great.
Part 2 (didn't see that coming did you?)
On top of this, there is a girl. She's freaking gorgeous, her humor is perfectly dry, and she's so smart it scares me. AKA, perfect. I also think she might have similar feelings, because while I may be a hell of a lot smoother than I once was, I'm still a general broadcaster of my affections, and also I pretty much told her so by offering to pay for her ticket to EDC (electric daisy carnival) so I can go with her. I'm not stupid, she's not the only option I'm limiting myself to. She has no reason to limit herself to me at the moment, and I have no reason to expect that, and I myself have no reason to limit myself. However, we're at a pretty flirty stage of the game. I've gotten here before. Here is where I trip up. So here's where advice would be great. She goes to school five hours or so away, which is a problem. She's also older by two years, which for some reason our society thinks that if the vagina is older than the penis the world will end (which I hope she doesn't come to that conculsion) aside from those two obstacles were both musicians and both (I'd like to think anyway) thinkers, contemplaters and fairly intelligent. So the question here is how do I approach this to make it grow? (Withhold your penis jokes please.) I'm also a shit texter by the way. I get distracted to easily by what I'm doing. But yeah. Basically I've met many girls, but none as wonderful strange as this one, and whatever chance in hell I have with her I want to keep. So yeah, any sage words of advice?
Last comment on Aug 21, 2014 06:17 AM
Will I be any good at this?
Posted by reallynewtothiskindastuff on Jul 09, 2014 07:47 PM 3 Responses
Okay... Well. I've kinda been saving myself for after highschool, because the one thing I would hate to happen is for me to get pregnant or some type of STD or something without at least a highschool diploma in my hands... So, I've stayed away from boys. Now, I always flirt with dudes. I don't know how or why... But it just happens, it's kind of natural. But anything more than a hug, just. doesn't. happen.
Now, I've had little bfs and stuff before, but nothing that I think could ever really count as any experience. I've never had sex. Like any kind. Ever. But I read A LOT about it. Just because it's something I'm curious about. I haven't kissed a guy in like... you know, it's been so long I don't even know. So I've never had a real kiss... a real boyfriend... a real anything. Anyways... I'm almost about to graduate, and I'll basically be a complete virgin to the world. No sex XP, no kissing XP. All I've done is read stuff about how to do something or watched videos (not porn, that stuff is just... I can't deal.) Like... I can't even use tampons, because they hurt like FUCKKKKK. How will I ever be ready for the 'D'?
But anyways... I don't know if I'll be ready for someone when the time comes, or if they'll be ready for me. I can't think of any dude ever who will have any kind of patience for a girl who doesn't know how to do SHIT. What should I do? Will I be any good at this? Or did am I really not a virgin at all because I fucked myself by not getting any experience? Sorry for the long story :P
Last comment on Jul 16, 2014 05:36 PM
does he like me
Posted anonymously on Jun 28, 2014 11:44 PM 5 Responses
ok well im a young teen fwi and i dated this guy when i was 12 and he was my first kiss and we were "in love",but he dumped me for another girl, he seriously dumped me on my way to lunch then by the end of lunch was dating this girl. Well now its a few years later and idk if he might like me. hes single and ive been delicate about the situation, i talked to him only twice after we broke up cuz he never has his phone. well my friend was talking to him apparently and she asked my over text if i still liked him and i said yes and he told him and he aid he MIGHT get back together with me. but idk if hes just saying that cuz he want a girlfriend. he was surprised that after all the mean things he said about me after we broke up that i still like him. but idk and i really wanna know! please help :'(
Last comment on Jul 09, 2014 07:53 PM
Keeping her head in the game
Posted anonymously on Jun 21, 2014 10:09 AM 4 Responses
So I've been with my fiancee for about 7 years now. About three years ago, our sex life began to look somewhat questionable. We've since been working to get things more regular and enjoyable. I've been having a hard time getting her to the end, by any means. And I have invested significant amounts of time, I would gladly stay down there for another hour, but she usually cuts it off. Her claim is that her mind wanders, she thinks about groceries and house chores. I've diagnosed this situation as sexual add. I think, at least in part, there's something for me to do here to pull her into the game better. Though after I make that assertion, I do find myself without great ideas.
Maybe our sex isn't that hot, sometimes i find myself thinking back to our hottest sessions together, that's how i get to the end. And I feel she too should do her best to stay in the right headspace. But can I blame her if it's a struggle to mentally achieve a sexual place? So to a certain degree, we're both a bit 'off'.
Last comment on Jun 23, 2014 02:03 PM
Post-Military behavior question
Posted anonymously on Jun 01, 2014 06:08 AM 5 Responses
My military guy has created a split personality for himself to help him separate his work life from his personal life. When he's at work he is very defensive, cold, and harsh, and it takes him a while to remove his armor when he gets home (and sometimes he barks at me by accident, which really doesn't work for me). He has worked very hard to treat me well, and is really fantastic.
My question is, once he is no longer in the military, will he need an outlet for the defensive/aggressive side of his personality, or will he be able to let it go? He created that persona so that he could deal with the environment in which he works without getting hurt. I'm just concerned that after so many years of practicing it, it will have become a permanent fixture. Does anyone have any experience with this? I've sort of broached the subject with him, and he had never considered it. Just trying to get some perspective (acknowledging that everyone will be different).
Last comment on Jun 08, 2014 05:24 AM
How do I tell him I only want to be friends?
Posted anonymously on May 26, 2014 03:37 PM 3 Responses
I have a male friend I've known for about 10 years now. We went to college together, lost touch for a few years, then reconnected through Facebook about a year ago when it turned out that we live in the same city and work in the same field.
Since then, we've become pretty close and I have really grown to value his friendship. We've worked together now on a few projects through our respective companies (we're in the same field, but work for different companies).
We met up for a work happy hour two weeks ago and I had a fun time catching up with him, but he made some comments that now have me thinking he's interested in something more. I should probably add that this is the first time since we've known each other that we've both been single at the same time, so the question of interest has never come up before.
But here's the thing...I don't think I'm willing to risk our friendship right now. I do think we could work well together, but there are a few things about him that make me kind of hesitant to think we could ever work out in the long term. That's not to say that I would rule him out completely, but it just has me thinking that I'd rather not pursue anything.
Well, today he invited me out to go salsa dancing with him, and that feels kind of like a date to me. But who knows? Maybe he does see it as a friend thing. So, I'm not sure how to handle it at this point. Should I say something from the getgo and tell him I'm only interested in being friends? I don't want to assume anything, since he still may not be romantically interested at all. But all the same, I don't want to get into an awkward situation.
Last comment on May 27, 2014 11:46 AM
Posted anonymously on May 12, 2014 06:27 PM 6 Responses
To start, I know what I'm doing is wrong. But I don't know what to do. I have a two year old with my fiance. We've been together for 4 years. He's never treated me good. But when we break up he begs and pleads saying he's going to change. And he does. For a matter of weeks. Well, I started a new job 2 months ago, and met a guy. An awesome guy. We've been seeing each other since. He didn't care that I had a boyfriend at first. He said we were just having fun. But now that it's getting more serious, it does. He gave me an ultimatum today. Either I break it off with my fiance, or he's done. My head says my fiance, because it makes sense to be with him, but he's not who I really want. I need advise.
Last comment on May 13, 2014 01:20 PM
"The only thing I don't have is a fuck to give."
Posted by fukdapoleece on May 10, 2014 01:35 PM 3 Responses
I've been living with my boyfriend and our two children from prior relationships for just over a year now. He's very old school (no nonsense, no talking about his feelings, etc.) but we've been pretty happy for the past year!
He works at night while I work days (and commute 90 minutes each way) so between our jobs and the two kids, we get very little time together. He DID have Thursday and Friday night off which was great for me! However, his job has completely fucked him over for the whole summer and given him Tuesdays and Wednesdays off so today was one of the last two Saturdays we will have together all summer...
...and hes spent it in bed watching old war movies!!! Every time I go up to check on him and see if hes hungry or something hes like like, blah. We had really good sex this morning but that was pretty much the only interaction we've had all day. The last time I went up there I asked him if everything was okay and if I did anything wrong. He just said, "no, the only thing I don't have is a fuck to give."
My question is: is this normal? Would you put up with it? Have you done is?
I would go lay up there with him and enjoy old war movies as well, however: kids. They really don't like it when BOTH adults lay in bed all day...
Last comment on Jul 02, 2014 08:41 PM
FWB Break Up
Posted anonymously on May 02, 2014 06:18 AM 6 Responses
I've been hanging out with a guy for about six months, nothing serious but we saw each other every week. The last time we hung out, I started to feel a little bored. Once you know someone for a while, you either begin to like them more, or less. I was liking him less. Nobody's feelings were going to get hurt, so I decided to sorta phase him out. Stop hanging out so much and just let it drift apart.
Well this week, he didn't get in touch to hang out like he always does. One thing I can say about this guy, though he never owed me anything (nor I, him), he was always consistent. He always made plans a day or two beforehand, every single week, and I'd come to expect that because it was our routine.
I found myself wondering what happened so I texted him "Hey so, could you not hang out this week, or did you not want to?" I knew the answer before I even asked it. He apologized for not getting in touch and said he'd been busy, and asked if I had time to talk on the phone. I said "Just say it, it's no big deal." And he told me "I met a girl that lives around here [we're about a 45 minute drive away] and we hit it off. I want to become more serious with her so I don't think we should see each other anymore. I'm sorry."
I told him he didn't have to be sorry, it's good! And I appreciate him wanting to tell me on the phone like an adult. We had fun while it lasted, and good luck with his new lady! He said thanks, he had fun too, etc., we exchanged "take care"s and that was it.
So why is my ego bruised?
I wanted to be the one to break things off. Instead, he got to do it. I guess it's a power thing. He leaves the situation feeling like "I hope I didn't hurt her too badly" and I hate that he gets to feel that way. I wanted to feel that way. I don't like when people get to think they've hurt me.
I have this upset feeling, and it's not about him, it's about me. I'm glad to have broken it off cleanly and politely; But I'm jealous he found someone he likes and I haven't yet. And for however casual the relationship was, butterflies or no butterflies, we had still gotten really comfortable with each other. I lost a pal, so there's still a sense of loss.
What do you guys think? Anyone experienced this weird "I'm not hurt, but I'm feeling hurt" kind of thing?
Last comment on Jun 02, 2014 05:32 AM
What are his intentions?
Posted anonymously on Apr 28, 2014 06:03 PM 12 Responses
What are his intentions?
So I've been friends with this guy Chuck for 15 years. He's my ex-husbands ex-band mate(they toured extensively together for a least 10years), he was the witness at my wedding and is my son's godfather (in name only). We've always gotten along and have an underlying admiration and affection for each other. He's always been there for me, defended me, supported me, and has generally shown that he cares for me. I've been divorced from my ex for 5years and over that time, Chuck and I have developed a more independant relationship (from my ex) through sporadic phone calls, as he lives in another city. Over the past 6 months or so he's been jokingly saying that he and I should get married, but we can't because I'm so and so's ex-wife. The last time we spoke of the topic, we basically delineated what living together would be like. Recently I travelled to another city to see him and he was thrilled to see me. We went bar hopping and it was like we were on a date. He held my hand and he kept kissing me on the cheek and giving me hugs. (He has never been affectionate with me in the past.) However, he also kept introducing me to people as so and so's wife and I kept correcting him, "ex-wife." He also did something REALLY sweet and generous for me while I was there. My question is: Is he interested in being more than friends? Why would a guy be affectionate with a buddy's ex if he just saw her as a friend? He kept extending his hand to cross the street and such. I really suck at relationship stuff and any input would be appreciated. Maybe he was just drunk? I told him to come visit and he said he would.
Last comment on Apr 30, 2014 03:53 PM